


Amazing Grace

by Gauky1976



Series: Love of My Life [2]
Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-03-06 02:11:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 9,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18841504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gauky1976/pseuds/Gauky1976
Summary: Brian and Roger are engaged to be married and have adopted a beautiful baby girl Grace Winfred Ruth Claire Taylor-May.After all these years, how do they cope with being parents and what does it mean for their relationship?





	1. Chapter 1

Brian had never felt so happy and peaceful in his life. He is engaged to the man of his dreams and the proud Papa of a darling angel Grace Winfred Ruth Claire Taylor-May, or Gracie for short, who was named for three very important women in his and Roger’s life—their mothers and Roger’s younger sister.

He watches their precious cherub sleeping for a few moments and quietly walks into his and Roger’s bedroom. “She’s sleeping?” Roger asks as he closes the book he was reading and takes off his glasses, reaching over to place them on the bedside table.

“Hmm.” He nods and he gets undressed and slips into bed. He lays his head on the pillow and stares at the ceiling. “Hey. No brooding lover. We have a beautiful little girl now.” Roger softly chides as he traces the outline of Brian’s jaw with a finger, following it with soft butterfly kisses.

Brian sighs softly at the touch of Roger’s soft lips on his skin. “I know. I am so blessed to have you and our baby girl in my life.” His breath catches in his throat as Roger brushes his lips over his in a whisper-soft kiss.

“Then what’s the problem babe?” Roger asks, looking up at Brian through his long curling eyelashes. “Aren’t you happy?”

“I’m happier than I’ve ever been. “Brian answers honestly. “You and Gracie are my world now. I just worry about what kind of a world we are bringing her into. So much hate and strife in it. I wonder how to keep her safe and as far away from all of that as possible.”

“Ohh, sweet Maggie May. Don’t you think I and every other parent in the universe want that for their children? Of course, I do but after having five of my own and along with your three, as much as we want that for them, when they are old enough, we have to let them make their own way in the world. Besides that, she has several decades before we have to worry about that.” Roger wraps his arms around Brian and rests his head on his shoulder. 

“I know but...” Brian’s musings were cut short by Roger placing his lips on his and kissing him deeply, conveying his love and passion through them. Roger pulls away and looks at the kiss blown lips of his lover. “You are a wonderful father and a brilliant lover. Stop thinking and just feel. Feel the love that Gracie and I have for you. Feel the joy of becoming a parent that fills your heart and soul. Stop thinking and just….be.” Roger runs his hands down Brian’s body, making the older man groan softly. “Stop thinking for once in your life and feel the love that Gracie and I have for you and will have for you…now and forever.”

Brian moans softly as a cry fills the air. Both men groan as their daughter makes her needs known. “I’ll get her. You stay right where you are.” Roger grins as he gets out of bed and pulls on a pair of sleep pants that were tossed nearby. He walks down the hall and into the nursery where his daughter’s cries lessen as she senses her daddy is nearby.

“Oh, my darling. What seems to be the problem?” He smiles as he picks up his precious daughter and holds her close. “Do you really think all this noise is needed?” He sniffs and grins. “Oh. I see. You need a change. Is that what the problem is?”

Gracie smiles at her daddy and his silliness as he lays her on the changing table and makes quick work of changing her. “You know, it’s been a very long time since I’ve done this sweetheart, but I guess you never really forget.” He kisses her belly and gets her dressed. “Want to go and say hi to your Papa now?” He asks as he walks out to dispose of the soiled diaper.

Brian hears the two loves of his life walk into the room and smiles as Gracie reaches for him. “Well hi there Poppet. Did daddy fix what was bothering you?” He takes her and kisses her head softly.  


"I did a good job of changing her and not having anything fall off when I picked her up,” Roger says proudly as he watches Gracie rest her head on Brian’s chest.

Brian smiles softly. “I knew that was the reason I fell in love with you…. your uncanny ability to actually dress your child correctly.” Brian playfully rolls his eyes.

“I know a few more reasons but we really shouldn’t discuss them in front of the baby.” Roger replies saucily.

“I bet.” Brian agrees as he strokes Gracie’s soft hair. The little girl looks up and yawns, shoving her thumb into her mouth.

“Babee” Gracie agrees, her eyes drooping as she fights sleep.

Brian looks up at Roger, hazel eyes full of love. “Our baby even when you’re a very big girl.” Roger's soft smile lights up the room. “Our baby girl forever and ever.”

Gracie places a hand on her Papa’s chest, cooing softly as her eyes drift closed. The two men watch her sleep for a few minutes before Brian gets up and places her in her crib. He walks downstairs and into the back garden, gazing up at the sky.

His eyes find what he and Roger call “Freddie’s Star”, a bright twinkling star that reminded them both of their lost friend and brother. When Brian was feeling sad, depressed, or quite often both, he would seek out the star and chat to it as if his dear friend was standing in front of him.

“Hey, Fred. Sorry, it’s been so long since we’ve had a chat, but I’ve just been so busy you know?” Brian shivers slightly as a light breeze tickles his bare chest. “Yeah, I know. I can see you pouting because I haven’t been paying you nearly enough attention, but you see, there’s a wonderful reason for that.”

Brian smiles. “We’re parents. Yes, I know we were before you died…but Roger and I have a beautiful baby girl! Grace Winfred Ruth Claire Taylor-May after our mothers and Roger’s sister. Ohh Fred…she’s just divine! You would have loved her!”

Brian smiles as he thinks of his friend’s reaction to the little girl. “I really wish you could be here to meet her. Rog and I talk to her about you all the time and I think, in her own way, she understands. Anyway, I better get inside before Rog sends out the search parties. Love ya always and forever Fred. Goodnight.” Brian presses a kiss to his fingertips and holds them to the sky before walking inside to his baby girl and lover.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Press takes aim at his family and Roger is not pleased...nope not at all

A few days later, Brian sits at the kitchen table nursing a now cold cup of tea as he stares at the newspaper headline mocking him from the table. He’s barely aware of anything around him but the bold black headline and doesn’t hear Roger and Gracie come in, over the gasping sobs wrenching from his very soul.

“Babe?” Roger turns and catches sight of Brian’s tear-streaked face. “Brian…what’s wrong?” he asks again, hoping to determine the cause of his beloved‘s distress.

Roger’s eyes fall on the newspaper headline, screaming at him from its place on the table “Queen’s Taylor And May Living in Sin and Adopt A Child”  


He places Gracie in her highchair muttering. He knew Brian was very sensitive about how intrusive the press can be and has been ever since the nightmare days of Freddie’s illness and passing almost 30 years before and how paranoid he was about the paparazzi getting any photos of their little girl before they were ready to announce the news.

Roger grabs Brian’s face in his hands and forces the taller man to look at him. Tear-filled hazel eyes look up and Brian’s bottom lip wobbles as he worries it with his teeth. “It’s all shit Bri. Those fuckers know nothing about us. I’ll call Miami and see what he says and then we’ll sue the fuck outta them.” Roger rests his forehead against Brian’s and strokes his cheek with his fingers. 

Brian nods, wanting desperately to believe what Roger was saying but he knew how cruel the press was and can be. “Maybe what they’re saying is right though Rog. Maybe, no matter how much we love each other and Gracie…maybe we are evil.”

“Brian Harold May! Don’t you dare believe that!” Roger’s voice was a low growl that at any other time Brian would find sexy. “How can two people loving each other be evil? How can two people loving each other and loving a beautiful child like our daughter be wrong? If that’s wrong…who the fuck in their right mind wants to be right?” He covers Brian’s mouth in a searing kiss to reinforce his view.

Brian pulls away breathlessly a few seconds later and looks over at his daughter watching him from her perch in her highchair. “I just don’t want what happened when Freddie got ill happening to her.” He admits.

“Lover. That was totally different. Yes, it was hellish and yes, the press were unmerciful, but we can control things now. We can decide how and when we tell the world about Gracie. We can do a magazine spread or something, but let’s talk to Miami first.”

Brian nods. “Maybe we should tell Rufus and Adam too. I’d hate them to find out from the press before we can tell them.”

A few days later, Brian, Roger, Rufus, Adam, Miami, and Gracie were waiting to do an interview on Good Morning Britain to announce Gracie’s arrival and other matters. Gracie was being fussy as she sensed the grown-ups around her were quite nervous. Roger had taken it upon himself to do the interview solo so Brian and the others could look after Gracie.

A crew member came and got Roger and after giving Brian a quick peck on the lips. He squared his shoulders and walked out. Brian looked over at Adam who gave him a grin. “Those guys aren’t gonna know what hit them.” They look over to a nearby monitor as Roger starts to speak.

“You may think you know Brian May as a supreme guitarist, songwriter, and composer and yes, he is all that--the public face he shows the world, but you do not know Brian May like I do. Love and family and the most important things in the world to him. More important than music, more important than the fans and yes, even more, important to him than his beloved Red Special. So, you can imagine how he felt when he read that his family was wrong and that he and I should not have adopted our daughter Gracie because we are evil and living in sin.” He stops and takes a sip of water from a nearby glass, clearing his throat and continues.

“And if you can do that, I’m sure you can imagine how I felt when I found him at our kitchen table in tears because of what he read. He could barely speak to tell me what was wrong because he was crying so hard. How dare you do that to him! How dare you make him doubt what a wonderful father and husband he is! What gives you the damn right??” Roger can feel his anger rise at the way the press dirtied the greatest thing in his life and bites his lip to calm down.

The presenter goes to interject but Roger shakes his head. “I’m sorry. The whole thing just makes me see red, excuse the pun, Brian.” He winks at the camera at the unintentional mention of the other member of their family—Brian’s adored Red Special.

After the giggles and snickers had died down, Roger continues, “I have known and loved Brian for over 50 years and through everything I know what a wonderful father he is to our eight grown children and now Gracie. I am truly blessed to see this right in front of me every day…to hear him singing to her. To watch her eyes light up when her Papa walks into the room. To see the love shining in both sets of eyes is something I’ll treasure for the rest of my life.

So, do me, Brian, Gracie and our family a favour won’t you? Think what you like about me. Take your best swing at me, but NEVER my family. Not Brian. Not Gracie. Not our grown children. They don’t deserve your judgment. Not now…not ever!!”

Brian’s eyes were shining with unshed tears at Roger’s declaration. He kisses Gracie’s soft hair and looks over at the three men standing nearby. “Not one to mince words, is he?” Brian jokes.

Rufus chuckles. “Never when it comes to what matters most to him Brian and yeah…guess that means you and our little Love Bug”. He smiles at Adam who is holding Gracie.

Brian hears the door open and Roger walk into the room. He grins at Rufus and takes three short steps to where Roger is standing near the door. He pulls him into his arms and kisses him deeply. Adam covers Gracie’s eyes as he watches the two men.

“Guess everyone knows now huh?” Roger chuckles as the kiss is broken. 

“Guess so.” 

“Everyone wants to meet Gracie and I want to show off my beautiful family.” Roger takes Brian’s hand in a gentle squeeze. The men walk out to face whatever the world throws at them--together always...as a family.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian is doubting his abilities to be a parent to Gracie, but she and Roger set him straight.

Roger walks through the darkened house looking for Brian and Gracie. His heart is racing and eyes moving as he walks. He moves into the nursery where he sees Brian in the corner with his head on his knees, body shaking with silent sobs. "Bri, babe what is it?" His voice is barely above a whisper so as not to startle Brian.

"I can't...I can't do this." Brian hears Roger's soft voice but doesn't look up.

"Do what babe?"

"She was crying all day and I didn't know what to do. And I should because I'm her parent and now she sees you and is smiling and all happy." Brian sobs. "You know what to do to make her happy and I don't." He sobs harder "I suck at this parenting thing!" Brian can feel his anger rising, not at Roger or Gracie but his frustration at the whole situation.

Roger's mouth gapes open. "You are a wonderful parent to our daughter and don't you forget it!"

"She doesn't love me Rog. Not like she does you."

"Of course she does Brian. She adores her Papa. She's probably picking up on your stress. That's all. You're exhausted and I know I haven't been around much lately but that's going to change so you can have some time for yourself too." Roger picks Gracie up out for her crib and places her on the rug next to Brian. She reaches out a hand to Brian and he watches as she wraps her tiny hand around his index finger.

"We adore you Brian Harold May. Gracie and me think you're the best parent in the world and I'm quite sure Jimmy. Louisa and Emily would agree." Roger says as he takes Brian's hand and kisses his knuckles. "She loves us just the same and it's not a competition. Isn't that right sweetheart?"

Gracie is busy sucking on Brian's finger and gurgles a response. "That's Gracie's way of telling you she loves you very much Bri." Roger grins as he kisses Brian. 

For the first time that day, Brian relaxes and smiles. The two most important people in his world loved him, no matter what kind of doubts had in his mind. He knew that he and Roger were a team and that as a team, they would raise their daughter, their way.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gracie says her first word and it's not quite what Brian thought it would be.

The first few weeks of life with their new daughter wasn't without trying times for Roger and Brian. Roger was trying hard not to show his frustrations to his beloved guitarist but it was becoming increasingly hard for him to hold his tongue when Brian keeps repeating that Gracie doesn't love him as much as she loved the drummer while Brian was totally convinced that he was an abject failure as a parent.

"For the love of God Brian. You are not a bad parent nor does your daughter love me more. She loves us both." Roger says feeling slightly exasperated.

Gracie was playing on the rug and held up her arms to be picked up..."Pa...Pa" she gurgles waiting for her parents to pay attention to her.

Both her father's heads turn quickly. "What did you say Poppet?" Brian asks, as he looks at Gracie, then to Roger.

"Pa...Pa" she repeats not understanding the fuss.

"Brian! She just said her first word and it was Papa." Roger's grin lights up the room.

Brian picks up his daughter and holds her close, the tears threatening to overflow. "She said her first word! Oh my God Roger...she said her first word!"

"Yes she did lover and it was Papa....still think she loves me more?" Roger arches an eyebrow grinning as Brian covers Gracie's face in kisses.

She points to Roger "Da" and to Brian "Pa Pa"

"Clever girl Poppet. Daddy and Papa who love you so much." Roger grins as Gracie reaches out a hand to him, which he kisses. "Maybe Papa will believe me when I tell him that you love us both."

"Maybe." Brian agrees as he kisses Gracie's head softly.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gracie is very unwell and in hospital. To say her Papa and Daddy are not coping well is a massive understatement.
> 
> With special appearances by Claire Taylor and Freddie Mercury

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the angsty chapter folks but it's just how I've been feeling having a dose of bronchitis myself.
> 
> Gracie's experiences in the oxygen tent mirror many hours of my own childhood, under plastic, fighting to breathe. 
> 
> Any and all mistakes of the medical kind are my own.

Brian watches the small figure in the oxygen tent fighting to breathe. His beautiful little girl Gracie had gotten sick and breathing was a battle. "This is all my fault Rog. How could I have not seen it?"

Roger looks down at Gracie..."This isn't your fault Bri. You didn't do this to her. She picked it up at playgroup."

"She shouldn't have been at playgroup if she was sick. They'll take her from us. I should have been more careful.” Brian is barely keeping hold of his last few strands of sanity and shrugs away violently when Roger tries to wrap his arm around his waist.

"Brian...this not Freddie again.”

"Of course, it's not! He's dead! He has nothing to do with this! This is about Gracie and the fact she’s fighting to breathe."

"Just like he was when you saw him for the last time wasn't it?" Roger shrugs.

Brian feels the breath rush from his lungs. "This isn't the same. This. Is. Not. Him."

Roger nods..."Okay...if you say so." He holds his hands up to placate the taller man.

"Why did you say that to me now? Why did you mention his name?" Brian looks at Roger in disbelief.

"Because you're not seeing our daughter when you look at that bed Brian. You're seeing him. God knows I am too…I wish I wasn’t, but I do. You got to see him one last time. I was driving to see him and was around the corner when he died. You got to say goodbye. I didn't" Roger blinks back the tears rapidly filling his eyes. “I understand how much you wish you could change this Bri…have him back with us, celebrating every milestone Gracie reaches. But we can’t. He’s gone and we need to be here for our daughter.”

“You have no fucking idea! I can’t do this now!” Brian stands up and stalks out of the room. He’s not sure where he’s going back his feet take him to the little garden in the grounds of the hospital. He feels a soft breeze brush his cheek and a soft “Ayyyy Ohhhh” fills his ears.

Brian closes his eyes against the tears and his mind is filled with Freddie wowing the crowd at Live Aid and at so many other shows they had played together. They were all so young and full of life then…. their whole lives in front of them…so they thought. Then, catastrophically, their world came crashing down around them. Freddie died. John left the band, all Brian wanted to do is die and Roger was left to pick up the pieces and mend Brian’s shattered heart and soul.

“Oh, my sweet Brimi. What in the world has happened to get you in such a state?” A familiar voice…heard so many times before…but not for over 30 years, fills his mind leaving him gasping at the familiarity. He feels a warm hand cup his face and his eyes slowly open, looking into the warm brown eyes of one of his best friends. “You’re not here. You can’t be.”

“Well I am darling…you know I love to make an entrance.” Freddie waves his hand in a flourish, grinning broadly. “Now tell me. What has you in such a tizz dear Maggie?”

“My little girl is very ill,” Brian says simply.

“Dear Emily? Or Louisa? Which beautiful May Flower is it?”

Brian shakes his head slowly. “Gracie”

“Gracie?” Freddie looks confused.

“Yes…Grace Winfred Ruth Claire Taylor-May. Roger and I are engaged, and we adopted a little girl who we named after our mother’s and his sister. But she’s really sick Fred….she has bad bronchitis and can barely breathe.”

Freddie’s hand flutters to his mouth. “Ohhhh you and Roger?? About fucking time darling!! Shame you couldn’t get your acts together while I was alive.”

“I’m losing my mind. Why are you here?” Brian holds his head, willing the voices inside his head to quieten.

“Because my dear Brimi…my sweet Maggie May needs me. I left you once, not by choice, when you needed me and I won’t now.”

“I needed you when you and Prenter were fucking your way around Munich Fred. When we all were coming apart at the seams because that prick got into your ear and told you that you didn’t need us.” Brian doesn’t know where all this anger and vehemence is coming from and why it’s finally coming forth from his soul. “I needed you when I lay awake working out the quickest way to end it all after you died. I do not need you now Fred. We…Roger and me…we haven’t needed you for 30 years.” Brian doubles over gasping. “Leave me…leave us alone.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Claire walks down the hallway and into Gracie’s room. She sees Roger bent over with his head in his hands. "Rog? Where's Brian?" she asks softly. Roger raises his tear stained face and shrugs..."He left. Probably in the garden."

Claire looks over at her niece. "How is she?"

"No change" Roger stands up abruptly, "No bloody change today and it hasn't changed for the last few days! And now, on top of all that, Brian is missing in action and I'm so fucking tired!” He looks over at his sister. "Gracie can't die Bear. It will kill Brian and I don't know that I can help him deal with it if she does.” Roger is barely holding it together. He falls into his sister's arms and falls apart.

Claire wraps her arms around her big brother and holds him as he sobs. “Gracie is in the best place she can be. They will do all they can for her. You need to look after yourself so you can help Gracie and Brian.”

"What if I can't Bear?"

Claire holds her brother tighter. "You can and you will because it's the only thing you can do."


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger stands shaking. Had he really heard Brian not only say he's quit the band but also to sell his beloved Red Special?

"I can't believe you're being so stubborn about this Bri. Why can't we talk about him?" Roger asks.

Brian gives Roger a murderous look..."She doesn't need to know about someone who was dead for years before she was born and who doesn't matter anymore.”

"He doesn't matter. Are you joking? He matters more now than before. We have to keep his memory alive.”

"No, we don't. Gracie will never know of him" Brian picks up the pile of photos and drops them in the trash before walking out.

Roger watches Brian drop the photos into the trash and shakes his head. "No way Bri. She will know him no matter what." He reaches into the bin and picks up the photos. 

Roger follows Brian out to the hedgehog run. "Why is it so important that Gracie doesn't know?"

"I have my reasons."

"Tell me so I can understand it damnit! Why are you so hellbent on shutting the door on that part of our lives?"  


Brian stiffens at the question, unsure of how to tell Roger the real reason is that he can't remember Freddie before he was sick and dying. "Because I don't remember him well...all I remember is watching him die.”

"And Gracie being sick reminded you didn't it?" Roger finally understands

Brian still has his back to Roger. "Hearing her wheeze...hearing her gasping for breath....I cannot not hear him Rog.”

"Ohh sweetheart....I get it. I get it."

"Just when I think I'm ok.... " Brian trails off sobbing.

"You're not and it all comes rushing back." Roger takes a step closer and reaches a hand out to Brian.

"Damnit Rog...I just want it to stop and the only way I can think of is to have nothing of him around no photos...no music...nothing. I don't want to play anymore.... Queen ends now!"

Roger looks at Brian in shock "What do you mean Queen ends now? We have a tour coming up."

"John was so right to leave Rog. I quit…. I quit Rog. I'm done. "Roger watches Brian kneel down and pat the hedgehogs at his feet. "Pete can have Red... I can't stand to look at her."

Roger's mouth drops open..."But what about your dad and the time you spent making her?"  


Brian shrugs..."Sell her. You could make some serious coin. I'm going to see Gracie" and walks away.

Roger stands shaking. Had he really heard Brian not only say he's quit the band but also to sell his beloved Red Special? 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
"What the fuck is he doing now?" A familiar voice fills the air

"He quit Fred. He wants me to sell the Red Special and doesn't want any photos or anything of you around.” Roger turns to face his lost friend, tears spilling down his face. "He's losing his mind Fred and I have no clue what to do.”

Freddie grabs the younger man. "He's been holding this in for 30 years. No wonder he's had it"

"But he wants me to sell Red Fred....he doesn't want her, but I fear he'll regret it if I do."

"Don't. Just put her away. Let him come back to her when he's ready."

"What if he's never ready? We have a world tour coming up" Roger is on the verge of hyperventilating.

Freddie knows better. "He'll be back. I know it."

"Christ, I miss you Fred. More than you'll ever know."

"I know sweet Roggie. You need to keep an eye on our dear Maggie May...but for the love of God, don't smother him."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Brian sits at Gracie's bedside watching his daughter sleep restlessly. He counted the wires running into and out of her body and watches her chest rise and fall. 

On the other side of the room, Pete watches his friend and Boss barely holding it together and shudders at the thought of the child under the plastic oxygen tent not going home

"Can I get you anything Boss?" he asks softly.

Brian shakes his head. "No thank you."

Pete nods and continues his vigil over the two most important people in the room.


	7. Chapter 7

It was a few days after Brian dropped the bombshell that he was going to quit the band and the rumours had already started swirling in the press. Rufus was growing concerned that the tour was getting closer and no word had come from his father, Brian or Miami about what was happening in terms of rehearsals.

He picked up his phone to call Brian, but unsurprisingly, his phone had gone to voicemail like it had every time he called it over the last few weeks. 

“What the hell is going on?” He mutters as he calls his father. After a few short rings, Roger’s voice is heard on the other end of the line. “Hey Ru.” 

“Hey, Dad. You sound exhausted. Why isn’t Brian picking up his phone?”

“Probably at the hospital.” Roger shrugs not realizing that Rufus and Adam have no idea that Gracie has been in the hospital for the last few weeks.

“What happened? Is Brian okay? Why is he in the hospital?”

Roger inwardly cringes at the rapid-fire questions coming from his son and realizes that neither he or Brian had told the boys that Gracie was seriously ill.

“Brian’s fine. Gracie has bad bronchitis and is in an oxygen tent. I’m sorry we didn’t tell you, but things around here have been frantic.” Roger apologizes.

“Don’t apologize Dad. It’s understandable. I’m on my way over. Do you want me to bring anything?”

"Brian quit today Ru. He doesn't want to do the tour."

"He what? Gracie’s gonna get well, again isn't she?"

Roger nods..."It's not because of her. He doesn't want any mention of Freddie made to her or have anything to do with him...no photos or music. He wants Pete to sell Red too.  


Rufus sits back, his mind reeling. "Get rid of Red?? No! Hide her away because if she's sold, he'll come to his senses and regret it I'll talk to him Dad. I'll try to get to the bottom of it" the young man promises.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
"So, your father sent you to talk sense into me." Brian arches an eyebrow at the young man standing in front of him.

“Actually, no... I’m worried about you both and I heard you're asking Pete to sell Red... wanted to know how much you thought you could get for her.” Rufus pauses for a moment, looking at the man he had known for his whole life before speaking... “You don't want Gracie to know about Freddie but it's a little hard when you won't let go of him, isn't it?. Do you think she doesn't know who he is just because you won't say his name? Have you ever asked dad...ahh forget it." 

Rufus pauses for a moment. "I get Gracie is sick Brian...I do...and thanks for telling me about that by the way. But shutting dad, the man you are going to marry, out...is just bullshit! Dad is beside himself trying to work out how to help you. For once, let him. We all love you, but Christ knows you make it hard.” Rufus throws his hands up in exasperation.

Brian chews his lip ."Can you stay with her? I don't want her to be alone."

"Of course. He's at home waiting for you. And Brian...talk to him..."

Brian nods and walks out rehearsing what he's going to say to Roger. A short while later, He opens the front door and walks in.  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Roger hears the door open "In here Ru..."

"Sorry. It's just me." Brian stands in the doorway, not sure if he should walk in. Roger walks out of the nursery and lays eyes on Brian, standing in the doorway. 

"You can come in you know?"

"Wasn't sure if I should."

"This is still your home..."Roger shrugs and walks into the kitchen, trying not to show Brian how shocked he was to see him standing in front of him.

"I'm so sorry Rog."

Roger faces Brian, the shock clear to see. "What for?"

Brian waves a hand around him..."This. You have no idea how right you are, about seeing Freddie when I look at Gracie on that bed. And..and I thought I dealt with it Rog..." Brian takes a breath...."I couldn't bear losing you or Gracie like that."

"Lover. I'm right in front of you. I'm not going anywhere no matter how batshit nuts you drive me. I meant it when I said I want to marry you and raise our daughter together."

Brian launches himself into Roger's arms and sobs. "Do you mean that?" 

Roger cups Brian's face in his hands and kisses him deeply. "More than you will ever know."


	8. Chapter 8

"Can you believe it Bri...the boys paid for an all-expenses trip to New Zealand just for us." Roger is bouncing up and down with excitement as he looks at the tickets Rufus and Adam had just handed him.

"You mean they just want uninterrupted time with Gracie" Brian grins at his fiancée’s excitement.

"Well I want uninterrupted time with you, so it fits." Roger grins cheekily.

"You do realize that it's over 24 hours flying time, don't you?" Brian frowns slightly.

"Plenty of time to join the Mile-High Club lover." Roger smirks.

Brian is excited to be going on this trip with Roger, however, the events of the last few weeks are still fresh in his mind.

"Bri? What's wrong and don't tell me nothing? I can see it in your eyes." Roger sees the look on Brian's face as he watches the boys play with a happy and healthy Gracie.

He follows Brian's gaze and sees their daughter. "She's fine Bri. Yes, she gave us a real scare but she's fine."

Brian chews his lip, eyes never leaving the little girl. He desperately wanted to spend some time alone with Roger, but he just wasn't sure.

“Dad. We’ll take Gracie tonight. I think after the last few weeks, you two need some time alone.” Rufus smiles as he picks up his baby sister while Adam picks up her bag and checks everything’s in it. 

“You be good baby girl and we’ll see you tomorrow for breakfast.” Roger kisses Gracie’s head.

The door closes behind the boys and Brian chews his lip sighing. “We only just got her home you know.” He sighs as he picks up the toys.

“It will be good for the boys to spend some time with her babe. You know they’re responsible.” Roger takes Brian’s hand and pulls the taller man to him. “You’re beyond exhausted so tonight, I look after you.” He pulls Brian’s head down and captures his lips in a bruising kiss. “I’ve missed you so much lover.” 

Brian melts into the kiss and devours Roger’s mouth. His hands move all over the younger man’s body, wanting to feel every inch of him. He breaks the kiss and growls “You’re wearing far too many clothes.”

“So, what are you going to do about it?” 

Brian growls from deep in his throat and tears open Roger’s shirt revealing the body he loved so much underneath it. “All mine. All mine.” He growls as he kisses his way along Roger’s ribs. 

Roger throws his head back and moans. “You better believe it, lover. All yours...always.”

Brian pulls away breathing heavily and looks down at Roger. “I’m not sure about you but I’m far too old to be making out on the sofa. Let’s go upstairs.”

Roger grins and takes Brian’s hand. “Lead on Old Man.”

Brian swats the back of Roger’s head. “I’ll show you Old Man, young Pup” he teases as he leads Roger upstairs and to their bedroom.

Roger watches as Brian undresses, a soft smile playing on his lips. “Do you have any idea how stunning you are?”

Brian stops undressing and looks down. “Hardly stunning compared to you Rog. Didn’t you say once that I was all legs and hair that walked into the room before I did?”

“Yes, and that’s still true but you are so damn beautiful that it takes my breath away even after all these years.” Roger moved closer to the taller man, eyes raking up and down the lean body. “I love you from head to toe…and every single point in between.”

Brian’s eyes are firmly fixed on the long scar running down his body. “You’d think after forty years I’d be used to this scar.”

“Yeah. You were so sick, I honestly thought we were gonna lose you. But you know what? That scar shows me that you’re a fighter. It reminds me how much you fought to come back to us all, but especially to me.” Roger traces a finger along the scar, causing Brian’s breathing to hitch. “I am so thankful that scar is there because I couldn’t live without you.” 

“You’re such a damn sap, Taylor.” Brian jokes.

Roger snorts, “And I’m all yours May.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Rhapsody Tour begins leading to an unforgettable night for Roger and Brian

Life had been going very well for Roger and Brian who had taken to their roles as Gracie’s parents brilliantly. They had lots of help from their families and the tour crew and before they knew it, they were all in Vancouver Canada for the first show of the Rhapsody Tour. They had jointly decided that Gracie would be with them and Brian’s daughter Emily would act as her baby sister’s nanny so she could spend time with her and her father.

Roger and Brian were in their shared dressing room, getting ready for the show. Brian, who was already dressed was sitting on the sofa in the corner of the room, fine tuning the Red Special while Roger was nervously pacing around the room.

“Rog…are you okay?” Brian asked as he followed his lover around the room with his eyes.

"Bri...I wanted to ask you something before we go out.”

"Sure. You can ask me anything."

Roger kneels and takes a small velvet box out of his pocket and opens it.

“You are the Love of my Life and while we may have gotten lost along the way, I love you more than anyone in this world. Brian Harold May...will you marry me?"

Brian is rendered speechless but smiles as his soulmate puts the specially designed ring on his finger. "It's gold for me...and platinum for you because I remembered you told me once that you loved it."

Brian nods..."You remembered?"

Roger smirks..."'Course I did...when the man you love tells you things like this, you file them away in your memory you know."

Roger looks up at Brian, waiting for his answer. "Yes, you fool. We did lose our way, but I love you babe and yes I will marry you."  


Rufus and Adam open the door and Adam grins "About time lovers! But we have a show to do."  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Halfway through the show, Adam addresses the crowd.

"Ladies and gentleman...something wonderful has happened tonight...two of the most decent men I know have decided....well...nahhh maybe I shouldn't tell you."

The crowd roars and Brian and Roger grin knowing what Adam is thinking about saying.

The stagehands bring out Brian's acoustic guitar and stool and hand them to Roger. Adam looks to Roger and Brian and continues the story.

"Over 50 years ago, two young men named Brian May and Roger Taylor first met while students. Brian, of course, was studying astrophysics and Roger was studying dentistry and then biology. In their spare time, they were playing music and becoming firm friends. Time went on and they became more than that," Adam pauses while the crowd roars, "and through the ups and downs of life, friends became best friends who became lovers. Ladies and gentlemen...I think Roger can finish the story."

Roger starts quietly picking notes out on the guitar. "I know Brian usually sings Love of My Life but tonight I thought I might if you don't mind. A couple of months ago, I did something unforgivable and raised my hand to one of the kindest, sweetest, loving people I have ever met and struck him...hard. It was a massive mistake and one I will never repeat. I will never forget the look in those beautiful hazel eyes I love so much. Long story short, it has taken me the last few weeks to re-earn his trust and love and to be honest, I'm glad he made me work hard for it. Before the show tonight, I asked the one, true Love of My Life to marry me...and he said yes. Brian and I are now engaged, and I cannot wait to be Roger Meddows Taylor-May."

Roger clears his throat and starts to sing, not only to the crowd but to Brian who is watching from behind the wall of amps on his side of the stage.

Love of my life, you've hurt me  
You've broken my heart and now you leave me  
Love of my life, can't you see?  
Bring it back, bring it back  
Don't take it away from me, because you don't know  
What it means to me  
Love of my life, don't leave me  
You've stolen my love, you now desert me  
Love of my life, can't you see?  
Bring it back, bring it back (back)  
Don't take it away from me  
Because you don't know  
What it means to me  
Obrigado  
You will remember  
When this is blown over  
Everything's all by the way  
When I grow older  
I will be there at your side to remind you  
How I still love you (I still love you)  
I still love you  
Oh, hurry back, hurry back  
Don't take it away from me  
Because you don't know what it means to me  
Love of my life  
Love of my life” 

The crowd roars and Brian blinks back tears as he walks back on stage. He keeps his back to the crowd and takes a few seconds to compose himself. “You okay Boss?” Pete asks as he hands Brian Red. 

Brian nods at his dear friend and tech. “Never been better.” He places the leather strap on his shoulder and winks as he turns around.

Adam walks back on-stage grinning…” So, I guess Roger and Brian put a ring on it!!” He jokes as the crowd screams its approval. Brian holds up his hand and the ring catches the light. “After fifty bloody years, I hope so.” Brian banters back. 

The rest of the show goes off without a hitch and all too soon it was over and the boys were taking their bows. Roger and Brian walked off hand in hand, grinning broadly. Brian handed Red to Pete and whispered close to Roger's ear. "Take me to bed lover."


	10. Chapter 10

Brian and Roger make their way to the waiting car with crew members congratulating them on their wonderful news. Pete was standing next to Brian’s rig and smiled as his Boss and friend walked toward him, hand in hand with Roger.

“If he hurts you again Boss, I’ll kill him and hide the body,” Pete warns.

“If he does, the line starts behind me,” Brian promises as he winks at Roger.

Roger smiles at the banter from the two men in front of him but knows how protective of Brian, and to a lesser extent the Red Special, Pete is. He sends a quiet prayer of thanks to whoever is listening that Brian has such a good friend in his corner when he can’t be.

“Hey Dad,” Roger turns to see Rufus, Emily, and Adam, who had a grumpy looking Gracie in his arms walking towards him. “Gracie is very cranky so we’re heading back to put her to bed.”

Roger watches as Gracie reaches for him. He picks her up and she rests her head on his chest. He strokes her hair and whispers, “You be a good girl and Papa and I will see you when you wake up.”

Brian walks over and places a soft kiss on Gracie’s head. “Love you lots and forever baby girl and I’ll see you soon.”

The others soon leave, and Brian and Roger are left alone for the first time since the announcement. “Guess we should brace for impact as soon as the Press gets wind of the news.” Brian sighs softly.

Roger pulls his head down and kisses him. “Maybe but let’s enjoy the fact that they don’t know anything yet.” He takes Brian’s hand and pulls him along. “Let’s go for a walk. I have something I want to show you.”

Brian follows as Roger pulls him along the footpath. “I went for a walk yesterday and found this place. As soon as I saw it, I thought that I had to show you.”

Brian stops walking as a very familiar scent fills his nostrils. He closes his eyes and a slow smile spreads across his face. “Is that smell what I think it is babe?”

“Yep. Cherry blossoms. Remember when you came to the house to talk to me. You had that cherry blossom in the pot that you found on the doorstep that morning. You said that it reminded you of falling in love with me on the tour of Japan in '75.”

Brian nods, chewing his lip. “How could I forget? I love you as much now as I did then, if not more.”

“Thank you, Bri.”

“For what?”

“Loving me…even when I betrayed you in the worst possible way. Thank you for giving me the gift of our daughter. Thank you for being you.”

“Me? I’m nothing special.”

“That’s where you are so very wrong. Didn’t you hear them scream for you tonight? Didn’t you hear them clapping and stamping during the song you wrote? They were hanging on every word you said, every note you played on dear Red…” Brian looks down and chews his lip. “I know you won’t believe me lover, but every word is true. I know there is a darkness deep inside you, but I promise you, Gracie, our family and I will show you every day for the rest of your life that we love you and you are worthy of all your success and our love.”

Roger cups Brian’s face in his hands and kisses him deeply. “I love you Brian and I have for fifty years and I will for the rest of our lives. I cannot wait to be your husband and raise our daughter together.”

Brian pulls away breathlessly. “Take me to bed.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after the night before....

Brian isn't sure if he had fallen asleep but if the sounds coming from beside him were any indication, Roger was well and truly in the land of dreams. He took a moment to gaze at the face of the man he knew so well...long fanning eyelashes that seem to cover half of Roger's cheeks, the cupid bow lips curled into a soft smile and a mouth that was made for sin captured his attention.

He looked away blushing at the thoughts running through his mind at the sight of the man who had just asked him to be his husband. The man who could drive him batshit insane most days but who he simply couldn't live without—his beloved drummer boy.

Brian wonders how truly lucky he must have been to have Roger Meddows Taylor crash into his world all those years ago and how much luckier he was to have him fall in love with him. Standing next to Roger, he was always the tall lanky kid that always seemed so out of place, but Roger saw past that, and into his very soul. He always saw past the sharp angular face, the mess of dark brown curls on his head, right to the very depths of his soul. He couldn’t remember when friends had become lovers, but he knew that he couldn’t live without Roger in his life.

Roger snuffles softly in his sleep and reaches a hand out for Brian, without opening his eyes. Brian takes his hand, kisses the fingers and turns to face the younger man. He watches as Roger’s eyes flutter open and gaze at him. “Hello, my almost-husband.” 

“Mmmm….I Iike the sound of that...My husband. Don’t think I’ll ever get sick of hearing you call me that.” Roger says as he blinks a few times to clear his sight.

“Good. Because I’m never gonna get sick of calling you that.” Brian pulls Roger closer and wraps his arms around his waist. Roger looks up at Brian through fluttering eyelashes. 

Roger frowns as he looks up at Brian. “You’re already overthinking, again aren’t you?”

Brian blushes at Roger’s words. “Guilty as charged My Lord.”

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?”

Brian lays back, pulling Roger to him. “How the Press will have a field day with the fact that we’re engaged and neither of us has come out.”

Roger goes to speak but Brian continues, “It was bad enough when we adopted Gracie and they said it was a sin….and let’s not forget what happened when Freddie was ill. I just want to go somewhere where no-one cares about how we live our lives and how we raise our daughter.”

“But wouldn’t that be running away? Fuck the Press. They’re a bunch of pricks and you know it. I am not gonna live my life in fear of what those arseholes think of me. Yes, we must think of Gracie, and we will, but I love you, our daughter and our life, and if anyone has a problem with that, they can get fucked for all I care.”

“It’s not that easy…”

“Why isn’t it? I know you over think things, but things are only as hard as you make them. I love you, and you love me. We both love Gracie and our family. If the music ends tomorrow because I’m marrying the man, I adore above all else…so be it.”

Brian looks at Roger in disbelief. “I’m not worth you throwing everything away for.”

“That lover is where we have a difference of opinion. I believe you are and it’s my choice to make…so there!” Roger sticks his tongue out to make his point.

Brian rolls his eyes giggling. “You’re such an idiot.”

“I resemble that remark.” Roger falls back on the bed, clutching at his heart as if he was mortally wounded. He pulls Brian down so that the taller man is laying across him. He looks up into Brian’s hazel eyes and brushes the curls off his forehead. They spend a few seconds gazing into each other’s eyes before the sound of the doorbell shatters the silence.

Brian turns his head at the sound. “Uh.. that’s the family bringing Gracie back I guess.”

Roger groans and nods, brushing a kiss over Brian’s lips. “Guess so.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flashback scene where Roger has overheard someone saying that he and Brian are too old to have children and Brian reassures his "Drummer Boy" that they're not.

Brian looks over at Roger who is watching Gracie play on her rug with a look of fury on his face. "Did I do something to upset you, my love?" 

"What makes you think I'm upset?"

"Well, your tone of voice and expression on your face to start with and the fact that you haven't taken your eyes off our daughter since we got home.”

"I'm fine and no my love, you haven't upset me."

Brian nods and chews his lip as he reads the paper and hopes Roger will confide in him later.

Roger sits on the floor, his back to Brian and plays with Gracie. "Bri...do you think we're too old to have a small child?"

Brian does a double take at Roger's question..."Where the hell did that come from?"

Roger shakes his head..."Never mind...just thinking aloud"

"No way Rog! Spit it out. What made you say that?"

"Nothing. I was just thinking."

Brian decides to call Roger out "Bullshit!"

He sits on the floor next to his husband. "Has someone said something to you?"

He grabs Roger's face and turns it towards him. "Who said it, Rog? Come on lover...who said we were too old?"

Roger stubbornly shakes his head, refusing to talk. "Okay. I'm not pushing you...and for what it's worth, we're not too old. And even if we were...it's no-one else's business. Gracie is loved, clothed and fed and we did everything right when we adopted her. You know that. You've seen all the police checks and paperwork."

Roger nods..."Why do I keep thinking she'll be taken away from us Bri?"

Brian tries to hide the shock on his face. "You think that?"

"I know it's silly but I keep waking up thinking she's gone."

Brian smiles softly..."Not silly 'cause I do the same. I wake up in a blinding panic and have to check the nursery...then I hear her snuffle in her sleep and look into the crib and she's there." Brian leans over and kisses Roger's eyelids. "I promise you, no one will take our daughter without a fight. He licks at Roger's lips before kissing him deeply.

"Love you my Drummer Boy and I love our daughter and the life we now have." 

Roger clings to Brian's shirt and bursts into tears."They said we're too old to have a baby" Roger sobs.

Brian holds his sobbing lover tighter and rocks him. "They are so wrong lover...so wrong. I promise you right now, that no one on Earth will take our daughter from us, without our express permission. She is our daughter Rog. Old or not.... we are her parents." Brian feels his anger rise. "Fuck them. We ARE her parents."

Roger looks up at Brian and smiles a tear-filled smile..."You said fuck Bri."

"Yes, I did and will continue to say it about any bastard who says we're too damn old to be Gracie's parents."

Roger looks up and smiles. "God, I love it when you get all manly and protective."

"Don't get used to it. Wouldn't want you thinking I'm taking over your job." Brian chuckles

Roger leans over and kisses the end of Brian's nose. "I'm sure I could get used to it."


End file.
